Schizophrenia and the Superconscious Mind

Schizophrenia and the Superconscious Mind

 

In my experience, I’ve noticed that my schizophrenic symptoms link up with a phenomenon I like to call superconsciousness.  It can be difficult to go from experience to explanation, but I will attempt to here.

 

One majour symptom is paranoia, and the feeling of everything being some sort of conspiracy.  This symptom comes from noticing patterns of thought that seem to be explicitly linked, and the more I notice them the more they seem to repeat and make themselves apparent.  However, when I examine them closely the patterns seem to break apart and become disconnected.

 

In the movie, “I Heart Huckabees” there are existential detectives who preach that everything is connected in a sort of existential blanket, and a rival author who states that everything is random and disconnected.  The two main protagonists sort of teeter between the two viewpoints before reaching a conclusion that incorporates them both.  That is sort of where I am at right now.

 

One viewpoint that I have is that everything is a sort of network.  This can also be noticed in nature, from the patterns on leaves to colonies of ants and how they communicate.  Communication is something that is still in development, and much communication may actually be done on an unconscious level like the way that our neurons send signals to different parts of our bodies.  We are not conscious of the process, and there may be other types of communication going on that we are not directly conscious of.  This may be happening on a subatomic level.  If we are all part of an interconnected network, then communication could be an ongoing process in nature only some of it entering our direct conscious awareness.

 

Our subconscious mind contains a lot of information that does not register on a conscious level.  One may make subconscious connections in their experience, but their conscious mind does not register it.  What happens when the subconscious mind becomes superconscious?  It begins to form a network that builds upon itself.

 

There is a popular saying that goes, “Where attention goes, energy flows.”  I’ve noticed this to ring true.  The more that I notice a specific pattern, the more it makes itself apparent.  Sometimes people only notice patterns in their subconscious mind, but never become conscious of it.  I became superconscious of the patterns I was noticing, and they would make themselves more and more apparent.  I would point them out to others, but they would not be consciously aware of these patterns.  I was in my own superconscious network where my thoughts, perceptions and feelings would appear to be linked up with my direct experience.  I was in a completely different state of consciousness than those around me, but they were all unconsciously and subconsciously a part of my superconscious network.

 

This experience ranged from euphoric to detrimental, depending largely on which area of consciousness seemed to be in focus for me.  There were both positive and negative patterns.  There were times when the negative patterns got so bad, I felt that I was experiencing Hell.  It’s not in a religious sense, but the idea of Hell being an unbearable experience of which I had no control over.  It turned out to be a mental structure that I suppose my own mind had created, and one might call illusionary but the patterns were so precise that I tend to maintain that there’s something more to it.  Again not in a religious sense, but in the sense that we somehow mentally create our own structures and patterns that externally materialize in our direct experience of reality.

 

Some say that we manifest our reality entirely.  I’m not sure how much of it we have control over, and how direct it is.  If there is a way that we can have more conscious control of our reality, I do believe that the key lies in making the unconscious and subconscious mind superconscious.  It can be tricky and even dangerous, as some things we may not really be meant to be conscious of.  It can also be confusing to be the only one who is superconscious.  No one else notices the patterns and they don’t seem to really do anything other than produce an illusionary experience.  If more people were to become superconscious, there might be more that could be done with it but as it is it is a lonely network of thought capacity that has not been tapped into enough to be actualized into anything substantial.  It’s still in the experimental phase.

 

Noticing the patterns of course isn’t enough to actually change them.  I’ve noticed that when I was in a mental structure that felt like Hell, my way out was in shifting the focus.  Focus seems to be the only aspect that I can actually control.  In changing the focus, I was able to notice different patterns.  I was then able to tweak the way that I was consciously processing this information into my experience.  The patterns would become more precise and relevant to my experience, as if my feedback was tweaking the way that the patterns presented themselves to my conscious mind.

Even if this is illusionary, it can still be a useful tool. I went from being in my own personal hell to having my own personal network of superconscious communication. Of course this involved taking information out of context and reformatting it to align with my subconscious and superconscious thought patterns. This is done automatically, like a computer. Some may consider the results of this process to be delusional. The step that is crucial to not skip over in this process is raw data analysis. Although context can be switched around, the raw data stream remains the same. This also goes with my idea that everything is data.

One may think that a casual conversation cannot be construed as data because its filled with opinions, anecdotes, feelings, abstractions and other things that are not facts or statistics. However, everything can be broken down into data as on a computer. In computing, data refers to the quantity, characters, or symbols on which operations are being performed by a computer, being stored in the form of electrical signals and recorded on magnetic, optical or mechanical recording media. So too do we do this with our brains. All language is is a series of symbols and signals used to communicate, in ways we may not even be consciously processing.  The subconscious mind is more multilingual as it creates its own language of which to process, store and communicate information.
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Addressing The (T)issue

Let me start off by stating that I am what one would call transgender.  I prefer to think of myself as a transcendentalist, and in a perfect world a transformer.  I’ve never been involved in transgender activism, politics, or anything like that.  I’m writing because I want to be my own voice rather than being misrepresented by a community.  I am what is known in the transgender community as female-to-male, which is a biologically female trans guy.  I don’t really care much for the terminology, nor do I care for the term “cisgender” that is being thrown around to describe people who are not transgender.  I would like to discuss the issue from a fresh perspective.
First and foremost, I see myself as consciousness.  That is the awareness of my experience.  The consciousness or awareness itself isn’t male or female; it just is.  I just am.  Personally I prefer to be seen and referred to as a dude because it’s more default to me.  The feminized references to me are extra, and I reject them.  I maintain that it’s my right to do so, as it’s my consciousness having this experience.  My biology is like an accessory; a vehicle, or a house for my consciousness.  It’s not who I am, it’s what I have.  So I could say that I have a female body, but I would not say that I am a woman.  It’s just a term that was made up and commonly accepted, but I choose to reject it.
As individuals, we should have the right to gain our own personal definition.  I don’t ask for special treatment, just basic respect.  I decide who I am, plain and simple.  I’m not trying to make anyone change the way that they live, or shove anything down anyone’s throats.  I realize that in this world I am the oddity, but I really think that it can be kept simple.  Simple interactions like, “hey, man,” or, “what’s up, dude?” make my day a little better.  I admit that my day gets a little sour when I am referred to as a lady or a girl, but I try and just brush it off lately.
I’m only speaking for myself, and I realize that I would not be a good representative for those on the other side of the spectrum.  Their experience is quite different and they may run into some overlapping issues, but all I can say is respect individualism.  Before we are men or women, we are people.  Biology is our carrier, but it doesn’t have to be our limiter.