I’m perpetually pissed off at the physical universe for compartmentaling my consciousness. It’s difficult to focus on anything with all of this anger. I want to channel it productively, but sometimes I just need to blow off steam. I know I don’t need to prove anything, even to myself. I still get this sense of conspiracy while the mental level is aligning itself with my physical experience.
4D is where the mathematical constructs go, and this is an overlay upon 3D reality. My experience is uncomfortable, and my alignment incorporates the uncomfortable scenario so I’m never really in true alignment in 4D. 5D and up is more of where it’s at. That is where my mind is free of its constraints, and able to create as it pleases.
I’m so sick of being trapped in physicality, and stuck on lower levels like emotional reactions to perceived set ups. Sometimes I just want to dissociate, and I don’t want to pursue writing because I hate the tone my writing takes on. It seems like I’m trying to cater to an audience that I don’t even want to attract. I don’t know why I’m doing that, but when I let it all go I write like this. Maybe I should just let it be. I just don’t want to let my emotions control my writing. I want to be honest, but I change so much.
My next topic will probably be on my fragmented consciousness. I’ll see how it comes out. I just needed to let this out in between, like a consciousness burp.